I am often asked where I get ideas for my articles. The short answer is “everywhere.” Today’s message came from a recent unexpected visit to a dentist for an emergency tooth conundrum. As my wife was settling into the chair, I was cooling my heels in the waiting room thumbing through magazines. The rag in hand was titled BOCA.com.

… or do anything that can lead them to believe that they are not important to you.

Where to begin? So much material. So many messages. Mostly reminders of how not to do things.

I just spent a week filled with negative people. Whining couples conversing over their appetizers at a lovely restaurant. Little eye contact at Best Buy. No acknowledgment when you pull over to allow an oncoming car to pass through a narrow street first. Then, culminating with my insurance agent of nine years actually raising his voice at me when I asked him why he thought it was in his best interest not to return my phone calls.

In order for people to feel glad they know you, you must appear to be interested in them, their lives, their stories, their experiences, and their opinions. As you leave the safe confines of your familiar environment, you are going to meet hundreds of people in the months ahead.

Not every one of these new acquaintances will become a client. You would not want this to be the case. You do need to know, however, that when you meet people for the first time, only three things can result from this introduction.

A whole bunch of “stuff” seems to be getting in our way these days. The negative daily news associated with politics, weather, cars, houses, food, and more are hitting us full force day after day. Every evening news show and late evening talk show has us reeling in bad news.

To suggest that all of this information has nothing to do with you would be ignoring reality. Even positive, upbeat, motivational speakers (like myself) know better than to blow hot air in your ear thinking that a bunch of cleverly tied-together words can put a bounce back in your step.

Let me set the scene. It was a windy day in late August, and I was sitting on my back porch in upstate New York. I was enjoying a morning cup of coffee with my long-time friend and fraternity brother who was visiting for a few days with his wife. It is so refreshing, but particularly rare these days to maintain relationships for any length of time, no less than fifty years.

Your business, as your golf game, lies entirely in your hands. You are in control. You are driving the bus. All you have to do is make up your mind to get up, get out, and do what needs doing.

Does this sound familiar?

“I’ve lost my passion for this industry. I find myself feeling bummed-out and I seem to be spinning my wheels more often than not. I find myself questioning if I am in the right business.”

Here is some food for thought that is designed to take much, if not all, of the stress out of your sales responsibilities.

I will use two examples to deliver my point. The first involves a house visit while the second involves a telephone.

If you invited me to your home, I would enter looking for directional cues coming from you. You would tell me when it is time to sit and where to sit. You would tell me when it is time for a drink and when we will be eating. You would be in control. I would be on my best behavior and wait for instructions.

This marketing practice has many analogies or anecdotes to explain its logic. Going with the flow; swimming with the tide; sailing with the wind to your back; picking the low-hanging fruit. I am sure you have a few analogies of your own to remind you that it doesn’t make sense to spit into the wind or pull on Superman’s Cape.

As logical as these reminders are, you don’t have to travel far to see people banging their heads against a wall in an attempt to get things done. It is still true, that in many instances, less is more.

The idea for this week’s article came to me while filling out the morning USA Today Crossword Puzzle. In and of itself there is no connection, so I don’t want you to spend any time trying to connect the dots. I suppose my point is that ideas come from anywhere and everywhere.

The truth is that your clients and future clients are out there dancing to the beat of their own drum. The chances are very good they are not doing the fox trot to the same rhythms. They are all focused on their own set of circumstances, and worrying about whatever it is they worry about. For you to enter their world thinking, or believing, that you can soon have them focusing on your agenda is nothing short of delusional. But there is a way. Read the rest of this entry »

When I mention this in my live programs, I usually get more than a few giggles in disbelief. I then tell the audience: “I mean it. I don’t like a lot of people. Who said that I have to ‘like’ everybody? The word ‘people’ is too general for me to rubber-stamp my affection toward anybody and everybody who can fog a mirror.”

Like in my live programs, I think it is time to hear my rationale.

The secret is not to like everybody, but to like the people you like. And then, be willing and eager to do everything within your power to service these people. No rules. No exceptions. No excuses. Not when you just feel like it. All the time. Read the rest of this entry »